The Advice No One Gave Me: Don’t Get Married Then Move Away by Yourself

A post from The Unconventional Newlywed

When it comes to making life changes, I try to make them all at once. It ensures a majority of success by overwhelming me into not backing out of anything.

However, I may have outgrown my theory.  Case in point:

  • 14 months ago, I moved to California from Spain newly engaged to my American boyfriend, Alex.
  •  6 months ago, we married in San Francisco.
  • 2 months ago, I drove my belongings across the country.
  • 1.5 months ago, I started graduate school in Boston.
  • This weekend, I spent the first holiday of my marriage without the American boy who lured me back to America in the first place.

Who gets married then moves across the country? That was not the plan. However, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, in its merciless bureaucracy, had other plans for the newlywed life of these young Morrisons. Alex’s work transfer, planned since the days of courtship in Madrid, now suffocates in red tape, gasping for breath every few weeks when a document is approved and demands another month of processing. Both our names are on the mailbox of our Boston apartment, but he works in California…full time. All the time.

I am in Boston, thereby responsible for starting our “happily ever after” though with half the resources. How do people single-handedly decorate a barren apartment without a car? Which are the “house decorating” stores? It is all supposed to be this expensive? A panic-ridden scramble to answer these questions lead me to the world of “DIY.” Do-it-yourself cooking, do-it-yourself decorating, do-it-yourself clothe making?

     I’ve never been the domesticated, “DIY” type but now it tempts me as a means to personality and style more in line with newlyweds than with broke college students. Although, clothe making…that may be where I draw the line.

Eventually I’ve got to learn that supportive wifely role. Perhaps this single-living hiccup bought me time to learn skills I previous shunned as outdated and inapplicable. And…while I decide if they are useful modern skills, playing house can be just a hobby, not a conformation to cliche, right?

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